of life, of living normally. Don't you agree? I don't know how to do anything outside of work, because it is so overwhelming, and obsessing over my infertility. The reason I haven't posted much is because I've had lackluster news followed by what I consider to be "alarming" news. My immunology tests came back, and everything was fine/negative except a presence of AOA (anti-ovarian antibodies) was found. Seems like it's not too bad according to the titer, but no one will adequately interpret this for me, so I don't know. The allergist/immunologist wants me to take prednisone to suppress the immune response of the ATA's and the AOA's, but said my RE would have to prescribe this. An urgent fax of the results to Mr. World-famous RE yielded this response: This means nothing. You should not have even been tested for this. 1/3 of all women have these antibodies present. We still have an excellent chance of success here. Let's just keep going.
Well, ok. But 1/3 of all women are not experiencing infertility and RPL, so do you think maybe this says something about my problems?
Evidently not.
Ok. So no one will take me seriously! That's great. The Hematologist was so shocked at just how high my TgAb were she couldn't believe my TSH was so low and my thyroid function normal. So, she retested my thyroid function and it was - surprise! - normal as ever. Only going to take 25mcg of synthroid daily as a precautionary measure. So I take matters into my own hands. I read in several places that fish oil is like a natural anti-inflammatory and can reduce things like natural killer cells. I don't even know if I have NKs but given the other 2 things I have tested positive for, I am just going to assume I do. I started taking 2 pills in the morning and 2 at night. Maybe this will act as a suppressant. At least it's something different that I can do. My hematologist said my homocysteine level was too high and doubled my Folgard. And to top things off, I am hetero for one of the MTHFR gene mutations (the least important one). No concern about that either. Look, I know no one is going to come back with 100% completely perfect panels. But I still feel alarmed by some of the antibody stuff. And reading the immunology debates about impact on fertility is leaving me as bewildered as ever.
The other thing is that despite E2 levels over over 1,000, my lining is only about a 7. Not great, although RE thinks it's fine. But what can I do? I am mid-cycle. My transfer is 6 days away, on the 19th. I have to cut a business trip short and take a red-eye flight home to make it. In my heart, I fear this is going to be a waste of my "final four" blastocysts - we will thaw all of them and transfer what makes it, but no more than 3. They would never agree to transfer all four. Even though it's ridiculous, I should get all four transferred since I would be shocked beyond belief even one made it past the first beta with good numbers and a good rise. PIO shots start tomorrow. I'm actually glad to be doing them again. Makes everything feel real.
What I am doing is planning for what is next. I promised my husband I would give world-famous RE one more shot with a fresh cycle if this doesn't work. So I will, but I am also going to make an appointment with Dr. Scher at Mount Sinai. Apparently he is "the" miscarriage doctor, and he doesn't scoff at the immunology issues either. He actually tests for them. Brilliant. But I don't think he is part of the IVF team at RMA, so I would have to figure out how to work with one doctor on the RPL issues without pissing Mr. Famous off. Too many egos in the way. And I just want to get pregnant. Ok no - I want to carry a baby to term. That's more accurate and I don't want to "confuse" any of the gods/forces/etc that may be listening right now. Pregnancy is a good first step, but unless it results in a baby, it doesn't matter much in the end.
Sorry to be out of the loop for so long. I need to catch up on everyone's blogs. Just been in a dark place, so it's hard to get the motivation to write this all up. But I want to have a record of everything, so I need to keep it up. Anyone who is reading this - thank you for your support. I appreciate all of the comments and they really do help me. I'll post again after transfer.
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5 comments:
HUGS! I'm sorry your doctor doesn't seem receptive to looking into your results. If your gut is telling you to go elsewhere then go--don't waste time there if they aren't going to listen to your concerns and investigate labs that come back abnormal.
I'll be praying for you that your transfer goes well!
I gotta tell ya - I am with Mr. Famous RE. I have done a great deal of my own research (yes - through google scholar) and all the well done studies just don't show that the immune stuff like AOA has an impact and even if it did have a small impact, they don't have an effective treatment. I'm not saying to take my advice, but in case it helps you not worry so much, I am putting it out there.
I can understand your skepticism, I am there too. All you can do is make the best decisions you can and see what happens. Unfortunately, you just don't know what will work until it does. I hope this cycle proves that you just needed that good embryo. And if it were me, I would put all 4 back and plan on reducing if all 4 implant and decide to stick around. Why let one just die in the dish? Make them if they scoff.
Ok, I will stop with the assvice for today.
Thanks for commenting on my blog. I hope you get nothing but good news in the coming weeks.
Hi, I am sorry you are getting the "that doesn't matter" bullshit. They do not know, it is well known they do not know for sure how much these antibodies can affect things. Being proactive is awesome of you. In the meantime there are some things you can do easily. I imagine you are already on low dose aspirin therapy. I would also add Selenium to your diet, either start eating 3-6 Brazil nuts per day or take a nice selenium/vit e vitamin. The selenium will really help clear the TG/AB out of your blood. Even if the thyroid is now functioning perfect it takes time to get the antibodies out. My antibodies got up over 1100 when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and even though they removed the rest of my thyroid the antibodies were still over 950 after. Selenium has gotten them down to below 150. Also prednisone or anti rejection may not be available but do you have any inhalers, specifically asthmacort? It is a corticosteriod and it can give a boost if you take it twice a day.
Just a few thoughts. I am so sorry you get this added stress to an already so stressful situation.
I also related so much to the first line of the post. It consumes my every waking moment and invades my sleep as well.
Take care.
My RE has told me that immune issues are highly controversial and there is no conclusive evidence that ties them to miscarriage or infertility. She said further research must be done before she would test me for that stuff.
I am so desperate for an answer that I am willing to be poked and prodded or whatever needs to be done. But this time, I am putting it in her hands and hoping her expertise is correct.
I'm sendings lots of love your way. I know that IF can be so all-encompassing. I'm surprised I get anything done anymore with how much is on my mind. XOXO
Hey sweetie, I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and wondering how the transfer went. Let us know when you're feeling up to it. Lots of love and hugs coming your way!
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