I don't trust my body

My transfer was last Monday 8/13. It was amazing actually, I had the requisite perfectly full bladder, and the three blasts the embryologist thawed for transfer all made it, and looked "very good". The were rated 5AB, 5BA, and 5BC. So, couldn't really get that much better from that perspective. Four blasts still in cryopreservation. My little bit of insurance. It makes me feel so much better just to know I have them, and that they survive the thaw so well (fingers crossed).

I went home and stayed pretty horizontal for 2 days. Although I later read it means nothing and is fairly useless. If the embies are going to implant, then they will. However, I was being cautious and figured well, it can't HURT now can it??

The one event that freaked me out was an unintentional O (read: orgasm) just a day after the xfer. I thought that was it for sure. However, my clinic said it's ok to resume intercourse the next day, and when I told the nurse she was completely unconcerned, saying that if anything, it would improve the bloodflow to the uterus. I PRAY she is right.

So here's the irritatingly annoying time line of obsessiveness:
1DP5DT: Freaking out over unintentional O.
2DP5DT: Hmm, are my bb's sore on the side? Not really, just the left one. And it's an actual lump, probably for all the estrogen meds. Lovely.
3DP5DT: I'm feeling twinges and mild cramps, and dizziness. Especially when standing after sitting. Here's where I do the most ridiculous thing and take an HPT after I get home from work. Not only that, but I pee first, wait like 20 minutes and then decide to take the test. So not only are we WAY early (I later read that only 5% of pregnancies have HCG detectable at this point), but I use a late day urine and one that is post-an earlier recent urine. I needed 5 seconds, I barely had a weak stream of 3 seconds. Well, of COURSE it was BFN. And of COURSE I was still devastated. So was my husband. I cried myself to sleep and we vowed: no more peeing on sticks until beta day! We can't take the disappointment or the mind games.
4DP5DT: Wake up at 5 am with a low level nausea. This gassiness that kind of pushes up through my esophagus. This lasts for awhile, maybe 30 minutes. Later that day, I eat vanilla frozen yogurt in the late afternoon, as I do on most work days, but this time about 2 minutes after eating it, I feel like I am going to puke. I run to the restroom only to gag and dry heave, but nothing comes up. I feel nausea on and off all day, but never to that extreme again. When I go to the grocery store I pass the ice cream aisle and it all rushed back. The cramps and dizziness continue.
5DP5DT: Same with the dizziness and the cramps. Get an occasional weird metal taste in mouth. Find it strange and do not even realize it is a potential pg symptom until I read about it later. At dinner, an expensive pasta restaurant, I eat a small amount and become very ill feeling, fleeing again to the bathroom, where I gag and dry heave. Nothing comes up. Hmm. Later that night I find one little spot of brownish blood on my black underwear, followed by AF like cramps, but not too bad, for maybe 1-2 hours. No more blood after that. It really was an unremarkable amount to begin with, so I doubt it could even be considered implantation spotting. Maybe a spot.
6DP5DT: Yes, I know I could legitimately begin testing again today or tomorrow with more accurate results. But I am terrified. Today I get the mild AF like cramping again for about an hour or 2. Also feeling the twinges on and off. No more gassiness, but some tiredness/dizziness. No nausea today but I am not very hungry. When I am, it's only for very dry, carby things like bagels and cookies. I don't want anything else.

Let's see what tomorrow will bring...

My one concern, although I think the post-meal nausea is a really great sign, is that my bb's are not really effected - with the exception of the left side lump, which is more disconcerting than anything else. Last time they were crazy sore and itchy, so much that they woke me up in the middle of the night. Only I can't remember when this started to happen? Also, since I had HCG in my system for 4 months after the miscarriage, I wonder if my body is just used to it on some level? I mean, I still had a + beta 5 weeks ago! So who knows. A crazy theory, but possible?

I'll keep updating this for my own posterity, and for anyone else who is interested of course :)